How to Defy Fate and Change Your Destiny

Whenever you encounter any problem, start by asking yourself: Should you? Can you? Do you love it?

1. Should You?

You’re supporting your parents, your wife, and your children. You’re also thinking about your own future when you’re too old to work. Should you take the risk? Does your family agree? Can you bear the consequences of failure?

Whether you should isn’t something you decide. It’s determined by your environment before you’re even born. If you don’t have it, accumulate it for your children.

When your children no longer need to provide money or time to the family — when survival, clothing, food, healthcare, and education are all taken care of by previous generations — what else can they do but build a career, like using their own money to grow their own grain?

2. Can You?

Two attempts are enough. The first might have been bad luck; the second is pure inability. When you’re punished, you should admit you can’t do it.

What is “hidden virtue” (阴德)? It’s the attitude people around you have toward you. That’s something you determine yourself. You need to shape your image in various situations. If you don’t want to win, others should still want you to win. Why would everyone want to help you? That’s hidden virtue. No one can control their own hidden virtue, but you can influence your下一代’s hidden virtue.

Suffering is an accident, but how your family chooses to face suffering again and again will make others look at you differently.

When you can’t, let the next generation can. Cut your losses in time and leave something for your children.

Do You Love It?

Can you accept the worst-case scenario? If yes, that’s love. If you mind it, that’s not love. If you enjoy the process, that’s love.

What you should do is what you can do. What you can do is what you love to do. That’s fate.

A person needs to be smart enough while also being foolish enough, so as not to hinder future development. Methodology is passed down through words; character is passed down through example. You must be able to calculate profit-and-loss ratios and投入产出, yet also be a fool without expecting anything in return. The essence of all competition is picking bones from eggs. When everyone’s the same, it means the differences are minimal. When everyone’s smart, you see who’s stupid.

Any talent in any field won’t go unnoticed. Whether you’re good at programming, socializing, dealing with people, or getting things done — in any field, when you stand out, you will inevitably earn above-average profits in that field. Unless what? Unless you have no talent at all. Unless you lack talent in every area.

You say you can’t even be first in your class, first in your group, or first in any single subject. You can’t excel in any area. That’s called having no talent.

If you have no talent, keep a level head, lower your expectations. From childhood to adulthood, be especially hardworking, diligent, serious, effortful, and meticulous, yet set very low goals.

Most people have huge ambitions but not a day’s patience.

The essence of defying fate is being loved — receiving resources gifted by others, loving others, and passing your own resources forward.