Gender Differences in Emotional Expression

Women tend to focus on attracting you, while men tend to focus on obtaining you.

Girls start learning to dress themselves up and showcase their charm to the opposite sex from an early age. This is a marketing mindset: I want to know who’s interested, wait until people gather, and then turn around to choose from among them. I look at the men who show interest in me and evaluate them comprehensively—across wealth, talent, appearance, physique, personality, and family background—to pick the best fit.

Men, on the other hand, zero in on their target and go for it right away.

Men don’t care whether the other person likes them. Their strategy is: if you don’t like me, I’ll launch an aggressive pursuit—spending money if I have it, or pestering relentlessly if I don’t. They believe that with enough effort, iron can be ground into a needle, and with enough sincerity, even the most elusive woman will eventually be won over.

But women really care about whether you actually like them.

First, during the courtship process, whether someone genuinely likes you as a person matters a great deal. Second, after you’ve won them over, maintaining the relationship properly is equally important. Because the other person is first and foremost a human being—you can’t expect a marriage law that never mentions love even once to sustain the contract.

Throughout the marriage, whether you continue to show your lovable qualities and nurture the emotional bond between you two is something that needs long-term consideration.