Being utilitarian is not wrong; being non-utilitarian means “if you don’t act according to the client’s wishes, all your efforts will be in vain.”

People need to learn to be pragmatic. Pragmatism means you should unapologetically articulate your inner desires, then work toward them and make choices aligned with those desires.

What’s the biggest pitfall for kids from disadvantaged backgrounds? It’s that they’re afraid to ask for what they want. They always fear having their desires written on their faces for others to see, so they always try to hide it. But look at kids from wealthy families — they don’t hide their ambition at all. Even if they're 4+4, they'll never feel insecure. You'll see this very clearly in financial institutions: those who come in with capital and those who come in with connections never disguise it.