Marriage as Risk and Reward: Why Dating Is About Maximizing Personal Gain

Marriage is fundamentally a transaction of interests designed to mitigate risk, and using matchmaking to navigate this process is simply a more efficient way to manage that risk—still rooted in maximizing personal benefit.
Since the choice is driven by interest maximization and the framework is transactional, we default to assuming the other party thinks the same way: everyone is there to trade, openly choosing and mutually screening.
A transaction is a transaction. Analyze it carefully, communicate openly, and if the deal falls through, kindness remains.

Going Dutch is the ideal model for matchmaking. Since everyone is looking out for their own future well-being and the interaction is essentially transactional, why bother with feelings? Talking about money is far more direct.
Sure, someone will complain that discussing money is too worldly and damages sentiment, but consider this: what are the most important criteria in matchmaking?
It’s property, cars, and income—all of which boil down to money. Since the premise is inherently about finances, speaking openly is actually a sign of respect.
You’re not there to fall in love; you’re there to get married. If the other person can’t accept your financial views now, they won’t later. Why pretend otherwise and waste time?

The method is similar, but we need to focus on hard杠杆.

Take this guy, for example. Is being wealthy a plus? Yes. While having money now doesn’t guarantee wealth for life, this attribute tends to remain stable for at least a decade.

Or take this guy: Is being a top student a plus? Yes. Being a high achiever doesn’t guarantee lifelong learning, but it at least proves he was ambitious during those formative years.

What about diligence? That depends. It’s a metric somewhere between soft and hard. If your understanding shows he hasn’t just been diligent these past few days but has been so for over a decade, then it becomes one of his hard attributes.

And what about someone who can absorb broad information, think logically, and avoid extremism? All of these are pluses. These traits make it more likely he’ll achieve世俗-recognized success.

Once you’ve evaluated all these hard attributes, you arrive at a clear description of the person.

His hard attributes, his current situation, and his general future potential are all laid out plainly.