Close Watch: A Powerful Deterrent to Those Around You
A short essay:
I once read that one reason to have children is: even if your kids aren't filial, you can still use them as leverage at the nursing home. It'll make the place treat you better.
I never felt much for that argument before.
But lately, I've experienced it deeply.
For the past few months, my child has been playing table tennis, and I've been the one driving them to practice most of the time.
A while ago, during the busy period before the New Year, I couldn't make it, so my father took over. The coach didn't proactively give me any feedback. Only after I asked how the child was doing did the coach mention that their focus had slipped.
My dad's job was just to safely deliver and pick up my child. Whether they were focused or not? Not his concern.
That's when it suddenly clicked for me.
As many of you know, I used to be an English teacher for six years, including three and a half years full-time at a tutoring center.
We all slacked off sometimes (we weren't always serious).
If the parents weren't paying attention to their child's studies or showing up at the tutoring center, trust me, most teachers would slack off too. The ones who didn't were the ones guided by conscience.
Some parents were extremely invested—they'd even watch from inside the small classroom while their child was in session. The teachers wouldn't dare slack off for a second. With difficult parents, we were even more careful.
Some children who weren't treated well by caregivers at home would get bullied by anyone. But when parents doted on their kids and stayed closely involved, it acted as a deterrent to others. We instinctively knew that the cost of bullying such children would be high.