To Change Someone’s Decision, Change Their Cost

Two cars meet head-on, and neither yields. So who gives way? The one who’s in more of a hurry yields.

Why does he yield? Because you’re willing to grind it out with him—your time isn’t valuable, which shifts his decision calculus. He decides it’s no longer worth the hassle. He sees you as someone who won’t back down, and he doesn’t want to keep throwing good money after bad. You’ve triggered his stop-loss point.

Chase what benefits you, avoid what harms you: if you become a source of damage to others’ interests, everyone will make room for you. But this logic doesn’t apply to mature systems. Systems have no emotions; violating their rules costs even more.

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