The number of opposite-sex partners who might be willing to marry you in your lifetime is, at most, 20.

There's a story about an old monk who told a young man to pick the biggest strawberry in a field, with the rule that he couldn't look back and had to choose just one.

The first time, he saw big ones along the way but didn't pick them. Later, he found even bigger ones, but still hesitated. By the end, they were getting smaller, so he settled for a small one and returned home frustrated.

The second time, learning from his mistake, he picked one halfway through that he thought was big. But as he continued walking, he kept finding larger ones and ended up just as dissatisfied.

The old monk said, "This is how choosing a life partner works."

Whoever you end up with is who you'll spend your life with, but how that life turns out has little to do with whom you choose. For most people, the problems in their life aren't caused by marriage — they're simply living the life they were always going to live. If you can't be happy on your own, hoping someone else will bring you happiness is a fool's errand.

Spending time obsessively pickering through potential partners is a poor use of your energy. There are far more important things in life waiting to be done.