From a certain perspective, obedience is essentially passive resistance.

The saying “obedient kids never amount to much” — is it because obedience itself is a bad habit? Not at all. It’s because obedience reflects a child’s deep-seated sense of surrender. He has already given up on himself. In truth, he doesn’t genuinely agree with you; in his eyes, you might just be a poor leader. But after repeated rounds of futile resistance, he’s quit.

He feels he no longer holds the reins of his own life—you do. Do what you want. If you tell him to study, he studies. If you tell him to work, you’ll find him a job. Later, when he needs to marry and have kids, he’ll come to you for that too.

If you’re going to manage things, then manage them completely.

His so-called obedience is essentially passive aggression.

Put yourself in his shoes: what do you value most? Someone experienced and well-connected who can genuinely analyze the current situation, help you find a breakthrough, and provide heavy artillery support—or even an airstrike.

So when you don’t meet that standard, is the most important thing to “educate” your child? No. The most important thing is to improve yourself. Just as you’d wish for a certain kind of boss, be that same kind of parent.

If you lack ability, build it. If you lack resources, grow them. And remember: we’re not here to “educate” others—we’re here to help them.