When you suffer, you must seek change; only when you’re happy do you need stability.

People temporarily suppress their own feelings and force themselves to do things they don’t want to do, always with the hope of one day being able to do what they truly desire. It’s impossible that suppressing oneself is meant to last a lifetime—enduring steady pain day after day until the end of life.

There are men who marry someone they strongly dislike in pursuit of a better future. There are women who wed someone they profoundly loathe in search of stability. Both assume they can endure it, just like the line in *A Chinese Odyssey*—“retch and vomit, and eventually you’ll get used to it.” But many years later, they suddenly realize how tragic their lives have become: there wasn’t a single happy day in the past, and there isn’t a single day to look forward to in the future. And the older you grow, the more you understand that nothing belongs to you except time, and nothing is yours except your experiences.

They discover that they’ve gained stability—but it’s a stable misery, a consistent torment.